For Moms (and Everyone Else) Making New Year's Resolutions Is Out, Habits Are In

It’s that time of year when people are ready for a clean slate and eager to set big goals for lifestyle changes like weight loss, healthy habits, or spending less time on social media. But traditional New Year’s resolutions often lead to frustration by February, leaving many wondering why they failed.

Making New Habits Instead of Resolutions

Instead of chasing one-month resolutions, aiming for drastic changes, or going after grandiose goals, why not focus on small changes? Whether you’re juggling to-do lists or someone looking for more physical activity and nutritious foods in your life, now is a good time to throw out the New Years resolutions and instead, embrace good habits that encourage real change—not just for January, but for your personal life all year long.

This time last year...

Do you even remember what your New Year's resolutions were for this year?

I don’t. Did I make any? Shrug.

It’s all been said before, every year in Dec-Jan.

1. Let’s set resolutions!
2. Why resolutions don’t work!
3. Why they’ll work this time!

I’m over it.

And I say that as a mom-life coach who helps women make life changes and reach their goals every dear day.

I agree that “New Year’s resolutions … shouldn’t be too punishing and they shouldn’t be too grand.”

I also agree that “New Year’s resolutions are goals, and motivation psychology shows that goals alone tend not to work well.”

How to actually make changes at the start of a New Year (or any time)

So if you want to make changes or implement a new habit — whether it’s December 8th, January 1st, or August 47th — here’s a framework I use with my clients that might work for you:

1. Know what you want and why
2. Think big and small
3. Know yourself
4. Meet your underlying needs
5. Celebrate and forgive
6. Check in with yourself

1. Know what you want and why

The first step to meaningful change is clarity. What do you truly want, and why does it matter to you? Connecting to your motivation helps ensure that your goals align with what’s most important in your life. For example, maybe you want to exercise more, but why?

Is it because you value health and energy to play with your kids, or because you feel external pressure to look a certain way? When you root your goal in your deeper motivations — like feeling vibrant, living longer, having fun, and showing up for your family — it’s easier to stay committed.

2. Think big and small

Big goals inspire us, but they can also feel overwhelming without a clear path forward. That’s why it’s important to think big and small. "Big" connects to your values and higher purpose, while "small" breaks that vision into daily habits. For instance, your big goal might be creating a calmer home environment.

The small steps could be setting up a 10-minute tidy-up at a consistent point in the day that works for your schedule and energy, or having weekly family meetings to plan the week. Big gives you direction; small gets you there.

3. Know yourself

Goals aren’t magic wands that instantly transform who you are. To make real progress, you have to work with who you are now, not who you think you “should” be. If you’re not a morning person, setting a goal to wake up at 5 a.m. for meditation might not be realistic. Instead, try a goal that fits your rhythms — like meditating for five minutes before bed.

If you want the benefits of meditating, but know you have a restless mind and body, instead of criticizing yourself for being bad at it, consider how you can work with yourself rather than against yourself. For me I can access mental clarity walking in nature, not sitting in my house.

Knowing yourself means leaning into your nature and working with it so you can set yourself up for success.



4. Meet your underlying needs

Every habit you want to change exists for a reason — it’s meeting an underlying need, even if it’s not in the healthiest way.

Let’s look at the example of wanting to stop scrolling your phone late at night Ask yourself: What need is that habit meeting? Maybe it’s your only downtime during a busy day and your brain needs to “veg out.” Instead of simply banning the habit, look for ways to meet that need that you feel better about.

That might look like using your 20-minute commute to play a motivational track or listen to a comedy podcast or listen to the same playlist every day for a month to cue your brain that this is a dedicated time to reset.

When you address the root need, changing the surface-level habit becomes sustainable.

5. Celebrate and forgive

Goals require compassion — both when you succeed and when you stumble. Celebrate every win, no matter how small, and coach yourself kindly when things don’t go as planned. Progress isn’t linear, and setbacks are part of the process. If your goal is to yell less at your kids, cheer yourself on when you meet a tough moment with a pause and deep breath. And when you don’t? Forgive yourself, reflect, and try again.

A positive inner monologue makes the journey toward your goals more sustainable — and a lot more enjoyable.

6. Check in with yourself

Even the best plans can veer off course if you’re not checking in with yourself along the way. Regular reflection helps you stay connected to your goals and adjust as needed. Set aside time regularly to ask yourself:

• How do I feel? What do I need?
• What’s working? What’s not? What other approaches could help me meet my goals?
• Does this goal still serve me? Am I on track?

For example, let’s say your goal is to cook more meals at home to save money and eat nutritious foods,, and for a week or two it’s going pretty well, but then not so much. Here’s how checking in with yourself would help you:

• Q: How do I feel?
• >> A: Burnt out from the weekly meal planning and daily efforts!

• Q: What do I need?
• >> A: Less decision-making. An approach that requires less of my time on a daily basis.

• Q: What’s working? What’s not? What other approaches could help me meet my goals?
• >> A: I feel good about the nutrition aspect and money-saving. The time and effort can be too much. Creating a rotating meal plan with some batch cooking could work.

• Q: Does this goal still serve me? Am I on track?
• >>A: Yes! Actually, yes. The fact that it got hard doesn’t mean it’s “not working,” I’m actually right on track, and making tweaks is part of the process.

(Notice the positive inner-monologue? So good.)

Checking yourself isn’t about judgment — it’s about making sure your goals and your approach to meeting them align with your life as it evolves.

An example of a lifestyle change I'm making

Here’s how I’m applying this framework to a goal of my own: To be on my phone less.

1. Know what you want and why

I’ve noticed how much time I spend on my phone, and while it can be a great tool, it’s also become a major distraction. Time that I’ve set aside for productivity within Ready Set Moms can become time playing a stupid game on my phone, blasting through the App Limits I’ve set for myself.

Picking up my phone to look up a recipe can become a Reels binge session. (How did I get here and why isn’t dinner ready yet?)

So, step 1, know what I want and why: I want to use my phone less because I value using my time productively to grow my business and help more moms. I value being present with my family. I value having more mental clarity and self-direction. When I’m less tied to my screen, I feel calmer and more in tune with what really matters to me.

Here’s yet another reason I want to be on my phone less: That’s what I want to model for my kids. At 7 and 9, they don’t have phones, and I don’t plan to allow it for them for years to come, but I want to start modeling a happy phone-minimal lifestyle now.

2. Think big and small

The big goal here is to create more intentionality with my time. I don’t want to feel like my phone is pulling me away from being present in my life.

The small steps to get there include setting specific times of my day when I will pick up my phone, and specific times of day when I won’t.

An ADHD hack that helps me is to write on a sticky note why I’m picking up my phone. “Baked potato 425°.” It might sound silly but it helps me look up the thing, then put the phone down.

I also look at recipes on my computer instead of my phone, or print them out, instead of using the phone at all for this purpose.

I’m also experimenting with leaving my phone in another room during the afternoon and evening hours while I’m with my family.

3. Know yourself

I know I’m not someone who can go cold turkey on technology. My phone is part of my work and my connection to friends. So instead of aiming for no phone time at all, I’m focusing on realistic boundaries.

That stupid phone game I mentioned earlier? It actually helps me calm down and clear my mind. It’s a great fidget when I’m on a work training. I can use it for that purpose, but not for zoning out during times I want to dedicate to productivity.

4. Meet your underlying needs

Calming my nervous system and decompressing are extremely valid needs. But when I spend 20 minutes holding my phone and I don’t know where the time went, I don’t feel great about that, so, backfire.

How else can I calm my nervous system and decompress? Making myself a cup of tea, feeling the warmth in the bug, admiring its aroma and taste, and looking out the window watching the squirrels play does the job and makes me feel present and kind of charmed by my life. Much better.

By addressing the need for downtime, I’m making it easier to stick to my goal.

5. Celebrate and forgive

When I catch myself putting my phone down and choosing to be present with my kids, I give myself a little mental high-five. And when I slip up — like when I find myself checking the headlines instead of the baked potato recipe — I remind myself that it’s okay. I just take a breath, put the phone down, and refocus on what I want to do. Progress over perfection, every time.

6. Check in with yourself

I’ve started doing a quick check-in at the end of each day: How did I do with my phone boundaries today? Did they help me feel more present and calm, or do I need to tweak something? These check-ins help me stay honest with myself and make adjustments that fit my life. Some days are better than others, but overall, I’m feeling more in control and intentional about my phone use — and that feels good.

So that’s that on that!

What changes do you desire to make in your mom-life? What will you take from this post to help you meet that goal? Here are some great ideas for healthy changes to get you thinking…

1. Add weight training to your weekly routine.
2. Spend more quality time with family members.
3. Replace junk food with healthy snacks.
4. Plan weekly date nights.
5. Incorporate whole grains into family meals.
6. Join a local event to make new friends.
7. Set smaller daily goals for home tasks like laundry.
8. Establish a simple daily habit like morning stretching.
9. Start a home improvement project.
10. Limit screen time on school nights.
11. Plan a regular meal prep routine.
12. Organize the kitchen table for better family interaction.
13. Schedule regular time for your favorite hobbies.
14. Set a guide word to focus your intentions.
15. Reduce clutter in one area of your home per week.
16. Build a supportive environment with like-minded friends.
17. Prioritize one new healthy behavior each month (maybe therapy to better your mental health?).
18. Replace old habits with new daily actions.
19. Dedicate 10 minutes a day to mindfulness or meditation.
20. Focus on better sleep routines for the whole family.

XOXO

Erika

This post was all about moms making new habits instead of resolutions. If this meant something to you, you might also like:

Gratitude For Mothers: Ways to Feel Thankful & Show Appreciation

Help Me Lower My Standards As A Mom

Resentment in Motherhood and What it can Teach Us



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