Why Being Wrong is OK (Moms Make Mistakes, Too)

Why Being Wrong is OK (Moms Make Mistakes, Too)

Feb 07, 2025

Mom consoling son.

Moms Make Mistakes, Too -Why Being Wrong Is OK

I’m okay with being wrong. It’s taken a lot of work to get here, coming from a place where I thought being right was the currency.

Sometimes it’s easier to be wrong, and sometimes letting things be easy is more important than being right.

When I’ve done everything to repair a friendship — reflected on our interactions, introspected, considered the intent and impact of my actions, given all the benefits of all the doubts — and it’s still unfixable, and it hurts to keep doing the work, I’m ok saying I’ve done all I could. ’m okay saying the friendship failed or ran its course. I’m ok saying she’s the one who failed me. And I’m ok if I’m wrong.

When I get a bad feeling around someone, if he makes me feel unsafe, but I don’t have “proof” and he hasn’t “done anything,” I’m ok choosing to distance myself — and for god’s sake my children — from him. And I’m ok if I’m wrong.

When my turning-10 child asks for a smart watch, and I say no and my only reason is I don’t want to have to deal with parenting decisions like setting boundaries with it, I’m ok if she thinks I’m wrong.

Just because you’re thought to be wrong doesn’t mean you’re the “worst mom”.

Mom and son hugging.

Doing What's Right For You And Your Family

Some people think I’m making the wrong move (or maybe even a “bad parent”) by not having our kids in team sports and competitive gymnastics and development-level whatever. Of course I want to challenge our kids so they meet their potential. Of course I want to expose them to things that might be uncomfortable at first but that they could grow to love. But I’m super comfortable with my kids being signed up for one low-commitment thing at a time that they enjoy doing. My kids love home time, and so do I. They’re always reading, drawing, playing, making, and I support that. It might be wrong for other people, but it’s right for us.

There is no perfect way to parent and there is no perfect parent.

When I realize that the one way we’ve been doing something is wrong for us, we can change the way we do things now so that next time can be different.

When we were new parents, letting our days be “baby led” without a schedule or routine or naps or quiet time turned out to be wrong for us. As a new mom, I felt untethered, and I'm sure they did too.

In those early years, one of the biggest mistakes I made was being so harsh with myself, when what I truly needed was self-compassion.

My unrealistic expectations that I could take parenthood in stride without easing up in other areas of my life might’ve been a mom fail.

There Is No "Perfect Mother"

It’s a common mistake to feel like you can do it all, all the time, perfectly. But…

I was wrong to not see how hard parenthood would feel sometimes, not because I was doing it wrong, but because life is hard, motherhood is hard. Good parents still struggle.

It was wrong for me to compare my hard to anyone else’s hard. There is no “perfect mom” competition. No one wins at this.

It was wrong of me to outsource my judgment to parenting books, parenting podcasts, and online mom forums. Doing so made me feel less capable rather than more.

I was wrong to pour myself into being a mother so completely that I got lost. I wish I had known that one of the most important things for my children was getting my own needs met.

Learning More About Yourself On Your Parenting Journey

I made parenting mistake after parenting mistake. But there’s good news - learning about myself helped tremendously.

There were things I didn’t know until I learned them:

That I’m a highly sensitive person (HSP) and easily prone to overstimulation. (I was wrong to try to white knuckle through it rather than protect and soothe my nervous system.)

That I have ADHD and thrive with structure and systems (I love a good to-do list) and external feedback. (I was wrong to try and do everything freestyle, leaving myself distracted, lost, and overwhelmed.)

That when I was losing my temper in fits of mom-rage, it wasn’t because I was a bad person and a terrible mother, but because I had perinatal mood and anxiety disorder (PMAD), and I needed help. (I was wrong to blame myself, but I was so right to get the help I needed.)

It took me a long time to see that I was wrong in some of those ways, and that being wrong made my experience of early motherhood so much harder than it had to be.

Mom and daughter doing yoga.

Why Mom Mistakes Are Beneficial In The End

But I’m ok that I was wrong, because it gave me a chance to learn so much about myself and be a better mom today. It gave me a chance to question what I was experiencing and why. It gave me the chance to take those experiences plus everything I’d learned about communication, systems, and creativity in my career and do things differently in my own life and then go on and build a coaching business that lets me help other moms who were like me, before.

What are you ok being wrong about? What’s a mom mistake you’ve made recently? I’d love to know.

Just remember: you’re not a terrible mom for being wrong or making a mistake.

Mom and daughter smiling together.