Tired of Struggling in Motherhood? Here's How to Deal

Struggling in motherhood? Having a difficult time? This post is for you. It’s time to get off the struggle bus.

Your experience as a mother is valid. Whether you are suffering from postpartum depression, in the new moms camp at the beginning of your parenting journey, a seasoned mom, a work-from-home mom, a single mom (or one who simply feels like a single parent), a mom with young children or older ones, a stay-at-home mom, or a working mom struggling with work-life balance, I’m here to help.

How To Deal With Struggling In Motherhood

S is for Struggle

I’ve noticed a pattern in how my mom-life-coaching clients are describing their struggles — and I still see echoes of these in myself, even with how far I’ve come. They all start with S, which helps keep our thoughts organized:

1. SACRIFICE

2. SCARCITY

2.* SCARCITY MINDSET

3. SCARED

This blog post (and this Reel) explore how each of those things contribute to a struggling mom who is having a tough time, ways to notice them for the first time, and ways to deal with them.

At the bottom I share ways I can support you.

1. SACRIFICE

Since the beginning of time motherhood has been linked to sacrifice.

I trust you to know and prioritize your kids’ needs.

But in a world where no one’s prioritizing YOUR needs, of COURSE you’re experiencing the struggles of motherhood. So we need to conscientiously train our thought process to complete the loop 🔁 and address the deficit.

⏩ If you’re sacrificing sleep, or struggle with a lack of sleep or sleepless nights

🔁 How are you going to get the rest you need without mom guilt slipping in?

⏩ If you’re sacrificing career advancement while your kids are young

🔁 How are you going to make that up financially?

🔁 How are you going to find fulfillment?

🔁 How will you exercise that big brain of yours?

⏩If you’re sacrificing any and all personal time

🔁 How are you going to get any enjoyment out of this season of life? How will your emotional needs be met?

⏹️ And don’t say you’ll get it out of your love for your kid(s). That’s a lot of pressure and really not fair to them or yourself.

⏹️ And don’t postpone joy until “they’re bigger,” because that will become a habit that’s hard to break.

Yes yes, during demanding seasons of parenting, you have less personal time.

But can you make time, at least every so often, and do something just for you?

Time to move (not because you should but because it feels good), time with a good friend or close friends, time for date night, time to read, time to achieve something, time to live in the present moment, time to make art or do any ol’ thing that you like. With your guard down. Just. For. Fun. (And if you don't identify with the word for Fun, try Fulfillment.)

2. SCARCITY

So many women literally don’t have enough quality time, money, and support to feel relaxed in motherhood.

How’s a person supposed to prioritize a monthly night out with the girls when she has literally 45 minutes to herself all week, after commute to the grocery store and sports, work, and family (and family members’) responsibilities like household chores.

The fucking kicker and the hardest part is when you’re experiencing real scarcity, all your capacity goes toward addressing that scarcity, making it super hard to do anything beyond that.

It’s like you’re climbing a ladder and the rungs keep breaking under your feet. You're forever trying to repair the steps just to stay in place. (Not my best metaphor, but let’s keep going.)

⏹️ These won’t help: Self-blame. Shame. Comparison.

▶️ These might: Asking for help from your support system or from your extended family. Receiving it. Honoring your hard work. Honoring progress you make. Believing you deserve more and better.

2. * SCARCITY MINDSET

This is different from actual scarcity, and you’ll hear about it a lot in certain circles (along with imposter syndrome, analysis paralysis, and toxic positivity).

Scarcity mindset has you focusing on what you lack. It has you hoarding resources and opportunities because you’re afraid you’ll never have enough time, resources, etc., but you keep thinking you’ll never have enough, so you keep not enjoying what you have.

Actual scarcity is the literal limitation of resources. This requires work and assistance to make up for the lack.

Scarcity mindset is the perception of scarcity and fear of losing limited resources. This requires work and assistance to adjust your mindset regarding lack.

So. Whenever you feel the pressure of not having enough, ask yourself if it’s actual scarcity or a scarcity mindset. (A coach’s outsider perspective can help with this.)

And if you’re experiencing actual scarcity, and someone preaches about scarcity mindset, feel free to shut that shit right down. You have better things to do than question the reality of your lived experience.

3. SCARED

The feeling I’m describing here is insecurity, or a lack of confidence. But let’s go with “scared” to complete the list of Ss.

This feeling of insecurity happens to us as moms when we outsource our judgment and decision-making. Easy to do with all the parenting experts putting out books and podcasts and social media content and all the moms on all the mom forums and that one support group saying how they did it and think you should do it.

Happened to me — I totally lost touch with myself in my quest to do it all right.

My favorite approach to this kind of low-grade anxiety is to sloooooooooooow it down. Pause. Before looking outside to the experts or anonymous moms in that FB group, check in with yourself. That’s the best way to do it. Ask your own advice.

Check your own gut.

▶️ If you need to be spending time getting educated on something, great.

▶️ If you need to hear some other perspectives, great.

▶️ But before, during, and after that research, ask yourself what you think.

Because you are smart and capable. You are not a bad mom or an incapable mom. You are a good mom. It can be hard to remember that when you’re struggling.

Yes, the struggle is real. The responsibilities of motherhood and the mental load are real. I’m dedicated to helping moms out of struggle and into their own fulfilling version of motherhood.

THE GOOD NEWS: HOW I CAN SUPPORT YOU

• The first step is to keep checking in on the free weekly-ish blog
• The free weekly-ish newsletter (SUBSCRIBE HERE for quick wins, deep thoughts, first dibs, and offer discounts)
• I’m coming out of hibernation on Instagram. See you there?
• Coaching packages — APPLY NOW

This post was all about how to deal with struggling in motherhood. If this meant something to you, you might also like:

How to let go of perfectionism in motherhood

Make Mom Life Easier By Knowing This About Yourself

From Babies to Teens: Getting Your Kids Involved in Laundry Every Step of The Way



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