When I'm on edge, it's not my fault, but it's my responsibility. (That just might be the most psychologically evolved sentence I've ever written.) For example, even though I still hate to admit it, I know I'm highly sensitive. That's not my fault; it's my makeup. But making sure I get enough downtime and alone time to honor my introversion, making sure I have healthy bounadries, making sure I react in ways that are aligned with my values and won't send my own kids to therapy in 30 years — that's on me.
When in doubt on what to do, what to choose, or just generally how to move forward, please let it free you that there is no right way to do it. There is only your way to do it. Take a moment. Remind yourself this is your home, your family, your body, your self, and your one precious life. What feels true? What feels light? What feels most aligned with your values? Do that.